Freshmen Dorms

Jake shuddered, "Ugh... I feel so dirty. I need a shower."

She raised an eyebrow. "Because you were just nice to someone?"

"Yeah I'm not even nice to customers. Actually be lucky, I'm not that nice." Jake smiled, "Like I said the only person I'm nice to is my mother. "

Evelyn frowned unconsciously. She tugged at a lock of her wet hair, peering at it. "You have been nice - but then it's like you suddenly remember that doesn't fit your image and you become extra-jerk-ish to make up for it," she said slowly.

It hadn't been the first time Jake heard some one say that to him. He heard it a lot from people, it wasn't his fault though. He used to be somewhat nice and look where it brought him. Jake knew that there were no perks to really being a major jerk, but he saw what being too nice like Eric was like. People walked all over you and took advantage of you.

Jake tapped his fingers on the side of the tub and sighed, "I uhh used to be somewhat nicer than I am now. I know you may find that hard to believe. Yeah I was still a bit of a smart ass, and a jerk but not to the point where people kind of disliked being around me. But you know you're too nice like Eric for example and people just walk all over you and take advantage of you. You're too mean and people shut you out. Being a jerk is kind of like my defense mechanism, my wall I guess.Keeps me from getting too close or letting my guard down."

Evelyn blinked. Again, he was doing that eerie thing, echoing her thoughts exactly. She straightened up but kept her arms around her knees, staring at Jake intently. "And you get all weird when I tend not to express a lot of emotion. You do it too. A lot. I said it yesterday. You act all macho and make people afraid or annoyed of you because you can't take being vulnerable," she said quietly. She wasn't accusing him. She'd be a hypocrite if she did.

"Because being vulnerable sucks. Having someone just poke at you and being able to know what makes you weak or your walls cave in on you is like one of the worst feelings. Vulnerability is for the weak, its been hammered into my head since I played soccer, up until I played rugby. All it takes is for one person, and one thought and to feel yourself just unravel, no its just... its just not cool." Jake said thinking of any moment he lost a fight or match, or just got upset with someone he cared about was because he allowed himself to get vulnerable.

"I know that." Evelyn ran a hand through her wet hair, getting her fingers tangled in it, and she winced. "Believe me. After the shit I went through with James and my parents-" She froze and continued quickly. "I know what you mean. But sometimes, well, I mean, one thing I learned from James was that i tended to be stoic, if you will, at the wrong times. He said I pushed people away when I thought I was just saving myself."

"I know I'm not supposed to push people away and I get that I do by being a jerk, but there are only so few people close to me for a reason. Yeah it may seem like I have a bunch of friends and crap, but they just know the surface of me. I don't need people knowing every little thing about me." Jake said, its not that he had all of these earth shattering secrets,he just hated unwanted drama which is what a large group of friends caused. Which was why he had tons of acquaintances, and very few friends, and almost no girlfriends.

Evelyn stared down at her feet, remembering her missing sneaker. Her foot felt cold. Her legs felt like they had lost feeling now. She shuddered and ran her hands desperately up and down her shins to return some life to them. "You know, I cannot believe I'm saying this because it makes me a horrid hypocrite, but you can't go around assuming everyone you meet will hurt you. I get that Rachel did, but n-not every g-girl wi-will." She shuddered. "Thanks for icing me over, by the way."

Jake shivered watching Evelyn try and warm herself up, for the most part he had kind of forgotten he was cold until he saw her shivering, he gave a small smile, "No problem its why I'm here, but I know not every person I meet will hurt me and I know Rachel screwed me over, everyone knows that. Its tough and I know you know that. Trust me I know what I was like before I dated Rachel, I honestly didn't start this whole Casanova bit until after, from before I would be that guy that would try to walk up to talk to a girl and just start laughing like a moron, and saying stupid things. "

Evelyn glanced up at him as she tugged off his sweater. He'd lent that to her way too often lately. She threw it guiltily to him across the tub because she knew he'd refuse it. "You do still say stupid things. But it's like...." She paused, remembering Sunday afternoon. He'd hung out with her and she'd not even realized just how long he'd been there. But she'd laughed. A lot.

"You kind of do it when you're not putting on a front. Whenever you're around your friends, you revert to this extremely self-conscious, I-have-to-prove-I'm-jerk-enough type of guy and I hate that. On Sunday, I remember you being over and you weren't a douche. I mean, yeah, you poked fun at me, but it wasn't in a douchebag way like Connor does. You were genuinely decent." Too decent. I let you kiss me, she added mentally, swallowing quietly.

Jacob grabbed his sweater, and just used it as a blanket instead of actually putting it on. He remembered Sunday they did have fun, but then things became really awkward after he kissed her. Yeah he had been decent on Sunday but he remembered when he was even less worse than that, like the times when he wasn't so much of a douche, "Yeah I know I'm like that, I just think its like normal guy stuff. I mean I know there are guys who are just douchebags all the time like Connor or Seth, but they have their decent sides too. But, god I remember I used to be nicer. Like sayings stupid things to you last Sunday doesn't even begin to compare. I mean just two years ago I was still like..."

Jake tried to think of a good way to describe it but he just went with this, "Like I don't know if you had a boyfriend or anything in seventh or eighth grade or something like that for like a day, how everyone did. But it was kind of like that. Just really painfully awkward, like for the guy. Yeah the girl was nervous and she'd be all giggly and blushing, but that was cute. But like guys their voices would crack, and their hands would get all sweaty when they went to hold a girls hand. And the entire time they're always doing that really weird chuckle/laugh. That was me two years ago, I was still the guy in eighth grade doing that really awkward laugh. There are plenty of times where I wish I was still like that, but some part of me is just so glad I'm not." He snorted, thinking back on his awkward dating experiences.

Evelyn tried to remember her middle school days. She usually tended to block them as much as she could. "I don't really remember my middle school days. I just remember having bigger things to worry about than boys." She picked at her wet laces, frowning again. "But I get what you mean. I don't know, I don't think puberty really affected me..." She trailed off absently. "It was just kind of....there. I never thought about it. And then I was in ninth grade. And everyone was getting over it."

"So you weren't the type of the girl hanging up their Justin Timberlake posters in their locker, and crushing on the guy on the football team? I mean I get thinking back on that stuff you'll be like I was so gay when I was fourteen, but its kind of the fun part about that age. Being that lame because usually once that's done life starts getting serious and it sucks." Jake stated, "Unless you were always beating up boys then that means you haven't changed at all." He smirked nudging her. He could totally imagine Evelyn beating up some guy for holding a door open for her or something like that.

Evelyn tried to recall, even though her calm mood was draining as she did. Dread replaced it slowly. "I....I mean, I recall my friends doing all that girly shit...I suppose I did it. I was just....really naive. I held onto this assumption of everything being okay because I was dealing with crap at home. I don't know. I didn't start scaring off guys until sophomore year, by the way," she added, flashing a small smile. She lifted her foot and nudged Jake's leg with it in return.

Jake snickered, "Hey I could totally see you, like five years old. Some poor sap offering you cookies or something like that and then you socking him."

Evelyn cringed. "That...did happen." She grimaced but then smiled a little at the memory. "It was kind of stupid but this one kid who lived a couple doors down and was in my section at school came over one day with his mom and she was all for setting us up as playmates. And um, my dad poked fun of the kid and was all "Show him what a real girl is like, Lyn." The kid didn't really get the whole cooties thing. I did. He came over and like, dumped the plate of cookies on my lap. And they were all weird ones I didn't like. So....I socked him." Her smile became sad. "My mom was pissed. Best day of first grade hands down. He never came over after that."

And her parents had bickered right after that. She heaved a sigh.

Jacob laughed, "Ahhh yes! I knew it! Poor kid just wanted to share his cookies! You could have told him you didn't like them. Actually geez, you remind me of Lola, she was so mean to me when we met in kindergarten, she made fun of me 24/7. Especially since I hate that really butch accent until I was like freaking twelve. But your dad sounds like a cool guy, what's your family like?" Jacob asked curiously, more so he wanted to know if there was a sibling that Evelyn tortured.

Evelyn paused. She usually didn't talk about her family a lot. Her close friends had either seen it all or had heard about it. She shifted uncomfortably.

She'd normally not go blabbing this to some guy she'd known barely three weeks. She heaved a breath, feeling her clothes stick to her.

"Um...my parents were cool. My mom was like one of those kick-ass female lawyers you see on TV. Feminist. She was pretty crazy when she wasn't around her clients. My dad was....kinda like yours," she said quietly. "That's the best way to describe him. That's why I really like your family. Kind of reminds me of what mine was like." She grinned briefly, looking down at her feet again. She wiped her wet hair out of her face. "And I'm an only child. They split when I was ten."

Jacob frowned, he could probably tell why maybe she was anti relationships. Then again his parents were still married and they love each other and crap.

"That, I'm sorry. So are your parents like both in Seattle or does like one live here and the other there?" He asked carefully because he wasn't really sure how her parent situation was and some people even years after were still sensitive.

Evelyn blinked at him, amused despite herself. "I'm using the past tense, aren't I?" she said carefully.

The past tense, that meant. Oh crap, he looked over at Evelyn and he felt real bad, "Oh I get it. That really sucks I'm sorry."

Jake remembered how Lola was after she lost her dad, but he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to lose both of his parents.

"Um...how did it happen? You know, if you don't mind me asking." Jake asked carefully.

Evelyn massaged her bare foot to stop it numbing. "My mom died a few months after the divorce. I was living with her then. Um....as to how? The doctors say brain tumor. Brain tumors are signs of stress. She got migraines too. I personally think it was my dad finally putting her through too much," she said as nonchalantly as if they were talking about the weather. She coudln't really remember much before the split anyways.

Before Jake could ask her to elaborate, she did. "Um, my dad was a great dad...just not a good husband, you know? Even when I was little, I knew that mommy wasn't the only lady daddy was friendly with, ya know? I didn't get that it was wrong though. But my mom knew, pretty much throughout her marriage, that my dad was screwing around behind her back. When you think about it, a woman like her shouldn't have put up with it. I think it's the bullshit they call love." Evelyn said it like one would say "feces". "Which makes me think it doesn't really exist. Infatuation maybe. Love sounds like a fairytale. Anyways, my mom found out about his latest fling with his coworker, or whoever. She finally snapped, filed for divorce, her brain tumor went ugly, she died a few months later," Evelyn said very fast. "She never was all there after they split though. In a way, it was good for her sake that she died. Put her out of her misery knowing my dad was off galvanizing around with his other woman."

She drew a breath but it came out as a sniff because she was getting very cold. She hoped Jake didn't think she was overcome by sadness or something sappy like that because of it. "So I went to live with my dad. Two years later, he died too. Car accident. I think it was karma, personally. But he told me all of this right before he died, when i moved in with him. I don't hate him for it. I just kind of....it pretty much turned me off relationships. I'm shocked I'm not asexual," she said jokingly. She shivered and blew out a breath.

"So after that I was stuck with my stepmom. She pretty much decided I was a heavy load. But she loved playing Barbie dress-up on me," she said, remembering her highschool years. "She used to kick me out of the house whenever she had her hookups around. She, um, she still taught me a lot though. Even things I didn't want to learn." Evelyn flashed a weak grin, figuring Jake would get what she meant. "That's when we moved ot Ash Creek, where I met Luke, Ash and Ja-James. I pretty much spent a lot of time on the streets. You kind of learn to toughen up. But it was a good thing because it helped me move out, get emancipated, when I was sixteen. I've been living on my own, working off my own bills and shit, since the end of...junior year, I think." She glanced up from where she was rubbing her cold legs to keep warm. "That's my life summed up. So now you know where I come from."

Jake took all of that in and could kind of see where Evelyn's defenses and kind of hard personality came from, she had a pretty rough life.

Jake knew she would probably just give his sweater back to him, but she really looked like she was getting hypothermia or something like that.

"So I can see why you'd dislike guys like me, and Seth and the rest. You do know they're not all like your dad. But I myself don't make a compelling arugement for the two per cent that actually is decent. But I can see where you're coming from. Makes me realize you are somewhat human." He smiled at her.