Freshmen Dorms

"Where do you think?" Antonio said taking the bottle from Ashton and taking another swig.

***

James grabbed Luke's hand and helped himself off of the ground, "Well geez that was pointless."

***

Jacob smiled, feeling kind of bad for squishing for Evelyn so he let her go and sat up like a normal person. "What can I say I leave that effect on you." He winked.

"You talking shit, broooo," Seth rambled, eyes wide. "You's talkin' shit - wazz he playin' at?"

Ashton glanced at the clock. Almost 1 PM. "Christ, Seth actually makes sense. You think Jake died?"

***

"Your head is still shiny though," Luke pointed out. It's gonna take a few washes to get that gunk out." he smirked and strutted to his room, dropping his guitar on his bed and sitting down by it. "Oh, some girl, Laney? Called for you but you were dead in the shower admiring your soul or whatever so I answered. She said you have to come down on Friday for some promo event by your usual shift."

***

"Being an incredible fail?" Evelyn asked, sitting up and brushing her almost-dry hair off her face. "If anything, you completely forgot what you were doing. It was just your giraffe size keeping my idea from fruition."

"Maybe." Antonio shrugged.

***

"Ahh crap! I hate that stupid promotion its so annoying." James gurmbled.

***

"Umm noo I remember, I was pining you down. Until you started to kiss me." Jake wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"What's it even about?" Luke asked James, curious. "That they require extra staff to come in, or at least, I assume they do."

***

"To distract you so you'd let me go," Evelyn protested, poking his shoulder. "Admit it, I was winning before your gigantic limbs came into the picture."

James groaned, "Its some stupid promotion they do, the jeans and crap. Anyway they don't call all the staff. They just call the males. Because they model the jeans.... shirtless."

***

"Only because I can't hit you back. Well I can but not hard. Hence the squishing, you used an unfair advantage. Your girlish physique and charms." Jake reached over and yanked Evelyn's hair.

Luke raised an eyebrow. "I don't get why you of all people would be upset over this."

***

"Sooo, Ash, what's this about yo' date?" Seth demanded, after flopping down onto the hcarpet for a moment.

Ashton glanced at Antonio, glared and then said, "Um, yeah, with Lola. We're going out to dinner Friday night. Or something. I don't know."

"OOOOH, shoo, bro, you's playin' two o' ya hunays."

Ashton blinked. "Two what?"

Seth sat up, indignation in his face. "Wuzzup wit' leadin' on Ashlee, huh? Not coo', broooo, she mah homegurl."

"A-Ashle?!" Ashton excdhanged a confused look with his brother. "Where the hell did Ashlee even come from?"

"She told me, straight from da source!" Seth said importantly.

***

Evelyn felt some part of her tense slightly at Jake's words, but she wasn't sure why. She shrugged it off, smile fading as she looked down at her lap a moment. She recovered her smile and slapped his hand away, wincing as her uncombed hair tangled in his fingers. "Owww!

"Um because it gets annoying after all day! And girls trailing behind you at the store when you're trying to work. There is a time for ogling and work is not it Lucas." James lectured him.


***

"Whattt? Ashlee likes you?" Antonio said staring at Ashton, that wasn't very nice! His brother was a player!

***

"Uh oh, my fingers are stuck." Jake said trying to yank his fingers out of her curls.

Luke stared up at James. "Is this James Darko I'm talking to?"

***

Ashton spluttered a moment. "Wha - no!" he exclaimed. "She likes Connor, remember?! Or liked, whatever!"

"Nooo, she be telling me, dawg, she be warm fo' yo form!" Seth revealed.

"Okay, obviously she liked me in the past when she went out with me," Ashton stated. "That one time. I highly doubt she still does. In fact, the only reason I asked Lola to formal was because Ashlee was with Connor, or whatever!"

Seth's eyes widened. "Oooh, scandal!" he crowed, looking at Antonio with wide eyes.

***

"Owowowowow," Evelyn was whimpering, as Jake waggled his stupid fingers. He yanked them and a sharp pain tore through her head. Her eyes filled instinctively in pain. "If you bald me, you're buying me a fancy wig!"

"YES! Even though it may seem I like attention, its annoying when I have to work." James whined a bit.

***

Antonio's mouth gaped and he stared a his brother. "My brother... a player!? Can't believe you bro!"

***

Jake pulled a face, "Just stay still. I can't afford a fancy weave right now." Jake relented as he tried to uncurl her hair from his fingers.

"Wow, I feel enlightened to a less shallow side of James today," Luke said wonderingly.

***

"Wait, wait, what?!" Ashton demanded, confused as he sat up. "Who the hell have I - Look, I figured Ashlee wasn't interested, so I asked Lola to formal simply 'cause she seemed like a fun date. And if Ashlee's into Connor or whatever, fine, I'm not leading her on or anything," he clarified, flustered. He didn't want to be associated with "player".

***

"Well, you should be happy. If my weave falls out, you can sell it to the trannies, remember?" Evelyn said.

She then proceeded to mumble insults toward Jake in French under her breath while he worked.

"Trannies would luv yo hair gurl." Jake said like a ghetto Latin girl. As he removed the last stray curl from his fingers.

***

Antonio tutted, "Dude I think she did like you. Cause remember? Connor, James, and Seth were all being really weird in November. It looked like she was avoiding him, until they went to formal together, even then I heard she smacked him."

***

"Yes, yes. Don't get used to it. This is a once in a life time moment you should record it, because it will never happen again." James informed Luke of his rare non shallow moments.

Luke threw a balled up shirt at James. "Get out, Darko," he said, grinning.

***

"She did," Ashton replied, ignoring Seth humming to himself loudly. "Something w\about Evelyn though. Luke said Connor tried to hurt her or something and that Jake was being falsely blamed."

***

Evelyn waited until he was done and then stifled a giggle, letting one escape as she turned to face him. "Now since you've adapted to being my gay best friend, wanna do my nails?" she chirped tauntingly.

"Gurl please, I don do nails. Ho'kay?" Jake snapped his fingers.

***

"Oh I see. Well as I see it, Ash got two girls into him. " Antonio smirked.

***

"Fine!" James yelled grabbing the shirt, as he turned to leave. "But you'll miss me!!" James shouted as he strutted to his room.

Luke rolled his eyes and threw his basketball after James. "NO, I WON'T! THE TRASH CAN IS STILL HERE!"

***

Ashton shook his head. "Nah, dude, I think Lola said yest because you put that stupid shyness thing into your stupid text! And Ashlee, well, I don't think she's what I thought she was, honestly. So whatever."

***

"Real convincing. What the hell kind of gay BFF are you then?" she demanded. "Can you go scout cute guys with me then?"

"Why, what's wrong with Ashlee?" Antonio asked curiously.

***

"Uh no. See I heard jou like dis Latin man, and I simply cannot elp jou cheat on him. Is not right." Jake continued in his thick accent, winking at Evelyn.

***
James stepped to the side so the basketball flew past him. "I AM A NATIONAL TREASURE, LUCAS!"

Ashton shrugged. "Nothing wrong with her at all. She's a fun girl but...I don't know, kind of trashy? She's the kind of girl you have to invite to a party but not girlfriend material, you know?."

***

Luke rolled his eyes and retorted, "Yeah, when the world's ending, I'm sure people willneed something pretty to look at."

***

Evelyn pouted, looking crestfallen. "But I'm only looking! Plus," she lowered her voice, "He's ugly! He has warts!"

"Damn straight! Can't start a new civilization with a bunch of uglies!" James hollered at Luke

***

"Ahh, I see. Well she's more Seth's caliber anyway I guess. They're like twins." Antonio smirked at Seth.

***

Jacob shook his head, "No, no, no. Jou need som elp girlfriend! Lookin is still terrible hokay? Sides jou can cover does wif som make up. Honey jou won' be able to tell da difference'. My boyfrien' Armando. Uh." Jake swooned, "He iz like a Latin Stallion jou kno what I'm sayin? Anyhoo, he has dis uge mole and I'm like nu uh! Put a little Lancome and viola! Is gone!"

Evelyn couldn't reply, because she was bent over double, laughing so hard her sides threatened to split (although hopefully not as painfully as Jake's had).

"Ok-okay!" she choked out, trying to breathe with her shoulders shaking with laughter. "I-I com-completely learned my lesson. You can stop now!" she panted, and choked on a laugh, finally boiling down to giggles.

***

Luke rolled his eyes, amused, and returned to writing the notes he'd been working on before he realized his guitar went missing.

***

Seth simply hummed a Beatles song in response to Antonio's look.

"Oookay," Ashton muttered.

"Ooh, ya know whaaaaaat? LEZZ GO OH-OH-SEVEN on JAKE!" Seth announced.

Jacob laughed and bowed, "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week." He grinned.

***

"Double what? Seth you're drunk." Antonio stated.

"I think on some level he rea -" Ashton started.

"OH-OH-SEVEN! BOND, BITCHES!" Seth elaborated. "LEZZ POKE AROUND!"

***

Evelyn straightened up, wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes. "Seriously, if your business career falls through, know you'll be an awesome stand-up comedian. Hopefully better than Dane Cook."

"Poke around what?" Antonio asked tilting his head. He was confused at what exactly Seth was getting at.

***

"Well I mean, I'm hilarous. Besides most of my childhood before I made friends I spent with my moms friends at the damn saloon in Brooklyn and they all talked like that! Every single one of them. Not to mention when I went on auditions with Lola for awhile, I came into contact with every gay man in Manhattan." Jake said, recalling all of his lovely acquittance's in life. "I would be a pretty good comedian."

"ON JAKE!" Seth yelled, frustrated now. He flapped hsi arms and accidentally upset his hair. "OH NOOOO! MAH HEAD!"

"I think he wants to go spy on Jake," Ashotn deduced at long last.

Seth quit whining about his hair. "YES! THAT! Why Tigga be so foo'?"

***

Evelyn tutted. "Damn it, I've always wanted a gay best friend and you just took that shot away!"

"OHH! But Seth how are you gonna spy, you're too drunk to climb on that ledge. The last thing we want is you squished on the pavement somewhere." Antonio warned him.

***

"Umm... just hang out on Broadway for a day, you'll have about thirty by the end of the day. Or just wait until Lady Gaga comes back to New York, you'll meet them all there. Say Alejandro referred you." Jake informed her.

Evelyn snickered and got up, heading back to her room at that. "The betrayed lover? How apt."

She had just realized it was Sunday and she'd gotten next to no work finished for school since Friday adn Saturday had been more social than she'd planned. She grabbed her backpack and laptop and carried them to the living room, setting up at the table away from the food.

She picked up the plates adn carried them ot the kitchen, depositing them away before walking back to the table. "On that note, I have ot get started on my homework because, regardless of drama, I still want to pass! Do whatever, just don't set anything on fire, don't set off any alarms or break anything," she warned him like he was a medically-diagnosed hyperactive kid. That said, she flipped open her law textbook.

***

Seth would normally not really care abotu such caution but his hair was kind of distracting him. He did not want that squished! Hell no! "You's righ', you's making sense, Tiggy!" he declared, brushing down his hair carefully with his fingers. "Dun wana see 'em gettin' it on anyways!"

"Oh that's boring, that means you won't pay attention to me." Jake pouted. He figured he should go back to his room and do his homework too. Since he hadn't done too much of it over the weekend either.

"I guess I'll get out of your air then." Jake said standing up and cracking his knuckles.


***

"Yeah no kidding, I actually wanna hold my lunch down." Antonio snorted, as much fun as it would have been to spy he didn't feel like seeing Jake and Evelyn making out.