Freshmen Dorms

Evelyn gnawed her lip to hold her comeback in. She closed her eyes and stopped walking.

For the first time, she felt like she was shrinking in on herself. She kept her face turned forward and waited for her defense mechanism to kick in before she could reply.

There was no cold, emotionless release. Her heart gave a painful thump. Her insides contracted. She felt her hands begin to shake, and her grip on her bag's strap quivered. Her breathing escalated like her lungs were crushed.

Where was her wall? Evelyn opened her eyes, feeling strangely, vulnerably, scared. She knew, by the loosened feeling of her face, that her stoic mask had failed to come through.

She didn't know how to cope without it.

"For-forget it," she stammered, lowering her head so her hair was a curtain around her expression; she kept her back to him and her voice came out pathetically weak. Evelyn felt so horrified, she began power-walking, heading for the suite door.

Jake wasn't sure if he should go after Evelyn or not. He figured she was a tad upset with what he did.

So he should probably let her cool off, but it seemed like something else had been bothering her.

Jake followed her down the hall and grabbed her arm, "Hey come on what did I do now?"

Evelyn stiffened but then felt her shoulders slump. She just didn't have the energy to bitch at anyone right now. Even if she was furious at them.

Her arm was limp. Her whole body was limp. She swallowed and her throat clogged. A soft sniffle was all the answer she could give Jake. But she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

God damned drugs. That has to be it. I'm not this...bad.

Was she crying? He really felt terrible now. He didn't mean it.

Jake turned Evelyn to face him, "Evelyn I wasn't trying to make you cry, I'm sorry. Really!"

Evelyn felt so pathetic, she wanted to laugh at herself. Where was her damned defense when she needed it? Embarrassed beyond belief, she lifted her hands and covered her expressive face, shaking her head no. She didn't want Jake seeing her like this. She kenw her anger, hurt and grief were currently written plainly for anyone to read in her eyes. She' d been told she had expressive eyes.

And that was why she'd worked so hard on that wall. Which, for the first time, had come crashing down.

She went to say something but was starting to think she was dangerously near breakdown 2 of the day so she said nothing.

Jake looked over Evelyn, she had seemed really upset and he was starting to think that this wasn't because of the text anymore.

He realized that something might have gone down when he was fighting Lucifer.

"Did something happen?" Jake asked her.

She debated telling him. What if James confronted him with it?

She was so tired of this whole lying game. Evelyn lowered her hands so Jake could see her eyes. "Why did you send him that video?" she asked softly. Her voice came out barely louder than a whisper. She took a few steps back from Jake, not really wanting to be around him.

Jacob gave the red head a bewildered look, he arched an eyebrow, "What video? I only sent out a text."

Evelyn stared up at him, increasingly bewildered. Her head swam. "I-you-you sent Ja-James that..." she stuttered, and her eyes blurred again. She swiped at them irritably and went on. "That video...my phone. It..." she couldn't seem to form sentences right, because all of her was too focused on the fact that her heart felt like it was breaking again.

Oh fuck

What had he done? Jake thought he only sent out a text, he never grasped the concept of an iPhone, the damn touch screens always made the phone do something else.

Now she looked like she was ready to cry and apparently he had sent a video to James, although he was really unsure of what the hell they even recorded that would make her this upset.

"Evelyn I honestly have no idea what you're talking about I never meant to send out a video." He said sincerely, he really was sorry for whatever he might have done.

Evelyn wanted to hit something. The feeble dam she was trying to build to hold back the inevitable break down was caving and the surge of anger she was holding back wasn't helping her think clearly. Her lower lip wobbled and she bit down on it hard, forgetting it was already red and bruising.

Her breathing was coming out more as quiet sniffling than anything else. She shook her head at Jake, feeling a headache start from all the crying she was doing. She clenched her eyes shut as she wordlessly fumbled in her bag for her phone.

Her hands wouldn't work right, they shook so badly in tune with her heartbeat. What was wrong with her? Last time she ever took a drink from a stranger.

She fumbled clumsily with the bag's zipper, letting out a distressed sigh. "I'll...I'll sho-show you." The zipper snapped off its clip and tumbled to the floor. The bag remained closed.

Evelyn clamped her hand over her mouth and began to cry silently.

Jake sighed, looking down at Evelyn and felt really guilty, whatever that video was of and whatever James had seen had to be pretty damn bad for this kind of a reaction.

He knew that whatever James saw couldn't be reversed now, and she was crying again because of his stupidity.

Jake found himself walking towards her and wrapping his arms around her, "I'm sorry I really am." He repeated himself, and decided just to stay quiet and let her cry.

It wasn't really his fault. Evelyn pressed her hand over her mouth harder, trying to stop. She'd already done too much of this for one day.

"Don't, don't apologize," she muttered and it came out muffled into her palm as she leaned her forehead against his chest. "I should have..." She paused, letting another wave of silent crying pass over her and then tried to pick up like nothing had interrupted. Hugs felt nice, she reflected. And it helped that Jake was taller than her even when she was in two-inch soled boots. It was a perfect fit ratio.

What could she have done though? She still didn't know. Would James tell anyone? He'd probably tell Luke...Evelyn's stomach lurched and she really hoped she didn't throw up on Jake. She didn't want him to let go just yet because her legs felt incapable of holding her up.

She lowered the hand over her mouth and rested both palms on his chest beside her head. "You know what, it'll work out," she whispered. She was talking more to convince herself than him. He didn't know yet, just how badly they'd messed up.

He'd know soon enough, she figured.

Jake held her resting his chin on her head like he had done the time before, "You sure you're going to be fine? You seem real freaked out." He said noting that she had sounded okay but if knew one thing girls were always saying they weere fine when in reality they were having mental breakdowns.

Evelyn didn't know how much time passed when she finally managed to reply with a nod. She tried to say something and then realized her throat burned. She turned her head, breathing in the familiar scent that seemed to follow the Spaniard around. It was relaxing, paralleling the ease she usually felt around him.

"Water," she mumbled into Jake's arm. If anything, James had successfully ended her singing aspirations. That bastard.

Jake pulled himself away and walked into their dorm, to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water, he came back out and handed it to Evelyn, "Here you go."

Evelyn took it from him with a soft "thanks" and almost tore off the cap. She lifted it up - and then a sudden, inexplicably huge wave of depression crashed down on her.

What the hell was wrong with her? She just suddenly felt like going to her room and lying down and never getting the hell up. Screw college. Screw her pathetic love life.

Most of all, screw James Johnathan Darko. Maybe she should just take a healthy dosage of pills and never wake up for a month. Would he have moved past it by then?

She took a swig of water, feeling Jake's eyes on her, and then handed him the bottle - more like thrust it at him so it slopped over the carpeted floor. People gave her funny looks. She didn't care. Her arms felt too heavy to lift and flip them off.

Jake frowned, he really wasn't used to her being like this in the little time he knew her.

Although he felt like a pest for asking it so much he couldn't help it, "You sure you'll be alright? I don't want you doing anything stupid."

Evelyn rubbed her hands over her face. She honestly felt....she didn't know. But she felt like doing something stupid. Just to stop her mind from thinking and circling and coming back to James. Again and again.

She lowered her hands and said honestly, "I don't know. I feel kind of....weird."

Jake would think if anything she was still hurt or whatever, but she felt weird?

"How is this situation making you feel weird?" He asked her.

She shook her head, taking the bottle back from him and swigging another gulp. She handed it back and looked up at him. "I don't know, exactly. I feel like it's the drugs in my system talking but I kind of want to do something..." She pushed herself away from the wall she'd been leaning on and started down the hallway, dazed. "Something stupid. Later."

She had this inexplicable urge all of a sudden. She didn't want to sit around. She wanted to get out. And she didn't want to show Jake exactly what had caused so much disaster.

She headed down the hallway, zigzagging between the other students, and heading for the elevator. She punched the button.

***

Seth had taken the stairs.

He reached the fifth floor and ran a hand through his hair, winded. His backpack felt heavier than usual with Lucifer's food and other papered-cat crap.

He stepped down the hall toward the suite and then paused a few feet away. It occurred to him that he should probably, out of a sense of duty, go check in on his cat-allergic friend. He pulled out his phone before turning the corner to his dorm and texted Connor.

Good morning? ;D

good morning... what the fuck do you want? x___x Connor sent back as he dragged himself into the living room after taking a very looong shower to clear his head.

Seth blinked, amused. Someone was clearly hungover.

He'd make the poor sod feel better. Even if it wasn't the most conventional way.

Seth proceeded to Connor's dorm room, knocking and then trying the door. It was unlocked. Probably Connor's roommates had left it that way.

He entered and then headed for where he knew Connor's room was, finding him slumped on his bed like his dog had just been fried on the metro lines. "'Sup, buddy?" Seth asked, leaning in the doorway.

"Some.. some.. ASHLEE thought it'd be fucking funny to make me think I'd have to start paying child support!" Connor flailed his arms half-heartedly before burying his face into his pillow. "And then she laughed. In my face. and then told me I couldn't tell anyone that we hooked up."

Seth wondered what drugs Connor had been taking. XTC? Meth?

Nah, he thought, Connor's in dreamland.

He walked over to Connor and smacked him upside the head. "Wake up. It was a baaaad dream, guy."