Caesars Palace

"TO YOU TOO!" Seth said excitedly. Evelyn shot him a questioning look.

He thumped Jake's back hard. "TIGGA SAYS YOU'S FINALLY GETTIN' IT IN, BROOO! HOW COME I WASN'T INVITED TO THE WEDDING???"

Evelyn blinked, baffled, and shot Jake an amused look. "Ooh, really? Was it the receptionist turned on by your battle scars?" She reached over and carefully freed Ashlee from Seth's grip, keeping an arm around the smaller girl to steady her.

Ashlee frowned looking at Seth, "My husband!"

"Gettin it in? Not yet bro! I WANNA PARTAYYY!" Jake whooped walking into their suite so that he could close the door behind him.

Seth bounded past Jake, finger pointed to Antonio. "TIGGA, YOU LIED TO ME!"

Ashton strolled up to Jake, somewhat woozily, and handed him and Evelyn two glasses of some weird dark liquid.

Evelyn regarded it like it was radioactive before lifting her eyes to Ashlee. She hesitated and took a sip, coughing as the liquid went down her throat. She hesitated and then walked over to sit down near the comatose Connor, finishing the deadly mixture slowly as it rushed to her head.

Seth nudged Jake. "Come on, brooo! It's....EVACLEAAAA!"

Jake didn't need to be told twice, he threw back his drink quickly. The liquid setting his throat on fire in a familiar way.

Ashlee watched Evelyn and sort of waddled over to where she was, but stopped along the way to remove her heels. They were becoming very annoying to walk in. She sat next to her and blinked a few times, "Heeey.... where did you and Jack go?" She asked, "You almost missed the wedding."

"Me and who - ? Oh." Evelyn figured that saying "Jake" was one step above Ashlee's abilities right now. God, how drunk was she? But then again, Evelyn had left her alone with the resident alcoholics, so...

She put her shoes down under the couch she was on, sipping her drink and feeling her head feel continually heavier and lighter. The wedding? Evelyn remembered Ashlee saying something like that....clutching Seth's hand.

Evelyn choked and sprayed out a mouthful of jungle juice. Coughing, she reached for the coffee table nearby and snagged a tissue to wipe her mouth. Her head suddenly no longer felt so heavy. She felt really, really light and kind of like she wanted to join in with the boys' drunk dancing. It looked like fun.

But she still didn't think Ashlee should marry Jake's idiotic roomie while she was drunk. "Uh.....what the hell?" Evelyn asked bluntly. "You can't marry Seth! He's a lunatic! All his kids would be the spawn of Satan!"

"Dance with us!" Seth announced to Jake, dragging him to where Ashton and Antonio were now dancing around drunkenly with two of the girls.Seth punched Jake's shoulder and winked at him, saying rather loudly, "IT'S OKAY IF YOU ELOPED - YOU WERE BITCHY WITHOUT HER!"

"A....B.....C....A-men!" Ashton said deeply, patting Jake's head. Evelyn lifted her eyes off Ashlee and shot Jake a glance before looking away hastily.

Ashlee flicked her eyes back at Seth, then to Evelyn and frowned. "But they'll be prettyyy. Like me." Ashlee slurred, grinning.

Jake was buzzing real good now, actually he was sure he was going past buzzing. This was Everclear damn it! He started dancing, "Dudeeee I feeel goood!" He said, "BUT LETS GET MARRIED WHOOO!" He said hugging Seth.

"Bringg on the wedding. Redd!! Te AMOO!!" He yelled laughing.

"James is the minister in the houuuse!" Seth announced, going over to kick James away from the skank on his lap. "OY! DUTY CALLS, BITCH!"

Evelyn stifled a laugh at Ashlee's comment before catching the end of Jake's. She quirked an eyebrow over at the buzzing Spaniard and simply raised her glass in his direction with a smile before swigging some more of the deadly juice inside it. Her senses and sanity slowly disappeared. Why exactly was she against Ashlee's marriage again?

Weddings were fun! Although Seth....

"He's a manwhore!" Evelyn exclaimed to Ashlee, eyes widening in horror. Somewhere in her, her logic agreed with her. She grabbed Ashlee's shoulder with her free hand and shook her slightly. "You can't marry him! Marry, uh..." She looked around and then grinned, pointing at Ashton, who was now dancing in a circle by himself. "HIM!"

Ashlee squinted her eyes at Ashton, then looked back at Evelyn, "But its okay cuz, Ev... I'm a whore too. Whores belong together." Was Ashlee's logic for marrying Seth.

"Plus he's a twin... what if I lose him or end up with the other one by accident?! Think of the children!!" Ashlee said with some sort of concern.

James wobbled on over towards Seth, and looked at him. "WHOO!! Who's ready to get married?!"

"I wanna give Seth away!" Jake volunteered.

"Nu uh!" Seth disagreed, poking Jake in the shoulder. "You din' invite me to yours, biznitch! Connor will gimmie...uh, away!"

He ran over to the unconscious Connor and grabbed one of his hands. "He's good to go!"

"But they're diff'rent," Evelyn pointed out, starting to see a slight haze on the edges of her vision. She leaped to her feet, swigged down the last of her drink, set the glass down (more like, dropped it below her seat), dug in her bag for her iPod and then marched in a wavering line across the room to the stereo. She plugged her iPhone in with the last of her intellect and switched on Rhythm Divine by Enrique, stopping the hip-hop song blaring currently.

"HEY!" Seth exclaimed, horror in his expression as he turned away from the minister. Evelyn flipped him off and danced back to Ashlee. Ashton groaned loudly and sank into a seat.

"Don't marry THAT disco ball!" Evelyn said, throwing her arms up in the air as Enrique went into the chorus. She twirled gracefully - and wobbled on her feet at the end of it, almost tipping into the TV. "Marry Enriqueeee!" She decided maybe pirouettes weren't the best idea and just continued with slightly less dizzying moves.

Seth had his hands over his ears. "Stop her!" he wailed. "I can't stand Enrique! It's mah wedding day, bitch!"

Evelyn, twirling her dress's flaring skirt with one hand, performed a skip step and pointed the stereo remote across the room, raising the volume up to a thundering level.

"ALL I NEEEEEEED,
IS A RHYTHM DIVINE!
LOST IN THE MUSIC,
YOUR HEART WILL BE MINE!
ALL I NEEEED,
IS TO LOOK IN YOUR EYES!
VIVA LA MUSICA,
AND SAY YOU'LL BE MINE!"

The walls of the suite shook slightly. Seth groaned louder, trying to cover up Enrique's blaring voice, which, at this point, was impossible. Evelyn ignored him, grabbing Ashlee's hand and continuing her oddly-tap-dance like moves.

"BITCH! I'm Enriquess twins! Fiestaaa!" Jake walked over (more like staggered) to the stereo and picked up Evelyn's iPod, phone whatever thingy. And changed the Enrique song to something more upbeat.


"BABY I LIKE IT!!!" Jake danced, spinning around everywhere. "WE NEED DAT BOSS MUSIC!"


"DAMN STRAIGHT! RICKY IS RIGHT!" Ashlee waltzed over to Jake and fist bumped him.


"I love my new sister!" Jake said hugging Ashlee, and she returned it back.

James banged his hand on the coffee table, "ORDER IN DAH COURT BITCHESS!! DIS IS MA HOUSE!" He would not have all this happening before the ceremony!

Ashton found a spoon from under the couch and handed it to James to bang the table with. Seth, still cringing, walked over to Evelyn's iPhone and flipped through her songs. "Heyyy, mah boy, Kanyeeeee!"

"TOUCH THAT AND DIE!" Evelyn announced, pointing her empty glass at him.

Seth met her eyes and slowly moved his hand to hit Play on the song he'd found.

"PUT. IT. DOWN." Evelyn waved the glass like she was about to spear him on it, eyes glittering dangerously.

Seth widened his eyes and inched his hand to the Play button even more slowly.

Evelyn took a step forward.

Seth squealed like a girl and backed away form her iPhone, managing to hit play anyways.

Power burst out of the speakers at unholy levels. Ashton yelped and drooped his head onto the lap of one of the girls nearest him.

Seth raised his fists in the air. "WEDDING MARCH!"

Evleyn dropped the glass, which miraculously didn't break, and shook her iPhone.

The playlist shuffled to...KeSha.

Seth's face fell but then he wiggled his eyebrows. "Ke$ha's mah homegurrrrl!" he informed James. "ANd she's gon' miss my big day!"

"It's Britney bitchhhh!" Jake announced marching down the aisle as he danced, waiting for Seth and Ashlee.

Ashlee grabbed Seth's hand, "Heeeye! We can't get married! We dun know each other! THEY!" She pointed to Evelyn, then James.

"Ev and James! They know each other for like 3 years.... that's FOREVER!" Ashlee announced.

Antonio lifted his head up, "No way.... they should totally get married!"

Jake drunk, normally would have protested but Ashlee right now was probably the smartest person there, "OH my god! Its like they've been married! GUYS GET MARRIEDD!" He said to the both of them, "REdd! As your BEST FRIEnd, If you don't marry James. You're gonna like die fo real. Go go! ¡Vaya! Vaya! Ay yi yi yi!! He cheered then started dancing to Ke$ha.

Evelyn put down her phone on the dock stand and turned, smirking over at James. "Nu uh, he ain't getting this girl that easily." She winked at him. "You're not tyin' me down, pretty boy." She sauntered back across the room, flopping down in her previous spot and putting her feet up in Ashlee's abandoned seat.

"RE-JEC-TED!" Seth hollered, patting James' head. "ARE YA GON' LET HER TALK TO YOU LIKE DAT, BRO??"

James shrugged off Seth,and sauntered over to Evelyn, "Ev, you're so beautiful, seriously more beautiful than anyone! I love you girl! Marry me." James said this and sat next to her on the couch and planted a kiss on her.

Evelyn turned her head so his lips landed on her jaw instead. She wiped her hand over the spot and scoffed. "Pretty words won't win you this girl, Jamesy." She patted his cheek and slipped off her seat, dancing across the room away from him.

"Tiggaa!" Seth exclaimed, forgetting about the wedding completely when one of the blond girls draped herself around him and began grinding with the beat. "Wazzup, homie, you's so dead, dawg!"

Ashton had plucked a pen from a container in the corner and was now busily scribbling on a cushion. Evelyn paused to watch him work and then stepped up onto the raised platform behind the TV, swinging her legs over the railing to sit there. She swayed back and forth from this higher vantage point, because in her head, higher meant safer. She wasn't getting married! hell no! So not her thing!

James frowned, he needed to make Evelyn his bride! But she wouldn't listen to him. So he decided to get some help. He saw Jake dancing by the radio and he got up and walked to him.

"Heeey Latin boy." James called him.

"Uh rude! That's Shakiro!"

"Yeah yeah, just come here." James waved him over and Jake complied leaning down to listen.

James placed his hand on Jake's shoulder and stared him in the eye, "Listen Enrique, you're her best friend. I need you to convince her to marry me okay?" He ordered Jake.

Jake nodded drunkenly, saluting James. Jake strutted on over to where she was sitting on the railing and put his arm to his chest all Romeo style and called out to her"“Por que chicka? Why won't you marry Jamie?"

Antonio looked up at Seth, "Dudeeee! I'm wastedd!" He slurred, having fallen somewhere and not being able to get up.

Ashton stepped over his brother and walked down the set of stairs that led to the front door, disappearing into the kitchen. He came out with a bottle of water and started chugging it, not liking the queasiness in his stomach. "What happened about your wedding?" he asked Ashlee, confused and kind of out of tune.

Seth peered down carefully at Antonio and then poked him with a foot in his side. "Get up, Tigger! You can't fall asleep at James' wedding, damn it! Tha's jus' low, man!"

He grabbed a half-full glass Ashton had left behind and dipped his fingers into it, sprinkling jungle juice over Antonio's face.

Evelyn swung her legs as she hummed along to the song. She looked down at Jake and smiled nicely. "'Cause."

"I'm a free bitch baby!" Ashlee proclaimed, she didn't need to get married. She loved being free, like a fairy.


Antonio started coughing and sputtering, "Sethhhh! I'm gonna drown!" He flailed.

Jake climbed the railing, and stood next to her one arm dangling by his side the other holding onto it, "But whyy?" He asked her, curious as to why they weren't getting married.

Seth grinned demonically and upturned hte whoel glass over Antonio's face. "You wuss!"

"But you gotta have Seth hair to be a ghetto free spirit," Ashton said, picking up a strand of Ashlee's hair logically and holding it up so in his viewpoint, it was lined up against Seth's head in the distance. "Oooh, yo uknow whaaaat? You can be AntiSeth. Like....you know....the antichrist?"

Evelyn's smile widened and she leaned over toward Jake. Because she was on the railing, she was higher up than she'd usually be, so she confided to him, "Because, James loves Alexis! Didn't you know?"

Antonio coughed and choked a bit more, he was now soaked and no doubt smelling like alcohol. He got up and tackled Seth, "DIE FAIRY!"

Ashlee blinked her eyes up at Ashton, not sure what he was saying but he was very hot. "You know what you talk too much." She stated going to him she wrapped her arm around the back of his neck and brought his head down and kissed him.

Jake's eyes widened like this was his first time hearing this, "No... how do you know?" Jake said propping up his elbow on the railing so he could support his chin on his hand and listen to her.

Seth jerked backwards and toppled onto James, who was on the couch. "Fuck, Tigger's angry! Good kitty!" Seth cooed, waving a hand at Antonio as he climbed hastily off James.

Ashton was taken aback and confused as to why Seth's fiancee was kissing him. But then he figured she was hot enough and then he felt guilty, despite his alcohol. He pulled back from her a little. "Naw, I can't do this!" he slurred, glancing over at Seth, who didn't look like he cared much. Ashton quirked an eyebrow and looked down at Ashlee. "Then again, you can always divorce him!" He leaned down again and resumed kissing her.

Evelyn nodded like this was a huge scandal worth the front page, and shot James a swift glance, lowering her voice dramatically. "He asked her to formal. With ROSES! A huge bouquet!" She frowned. "And she turned him down! And, and!" She leaned over and informed Jake's ear that, "He's probably gonna name his first born after her cat!"

Antonio shook his head getting up again and pouncing after Seth, "Roar!" He yelled.

Ashlee oblivious to all of this as she continued to make out with Ashton.

Jake though on the other hand was wrapped up in this drama, "Wow I just can't believe it but... you gotta marry Jamie. Your kids will be prettyy. Blue plus green, and stuff. Lexi ain't nothing on you chicka." Jake pointed out.

Evelyn's eyes widened and then she exclaimed loudly, "That's the nicest thing ANYONE has ever said to me!" She slung her arm around Jake to give him a one-armed hug and kissed his cheek, trying not to topple off the railing as she wobbled. "Merde!"

Seth shoved James in front of him at Antonio and ducked behind a pretty brunette girl Connor must have brought home. "Chill, dawwwwg," he protested.

Then he looked up and his eyes widened. "What's this? HOMEWRECKERSSS!" He pointed accusing fingers, one at Ashton and the other at Jake. "YOU'RE RUINING LIVES! THINK O' DA KIDS!"

Ashton jerked his head away to breathe and blinked at Seth's finger. "Wha - huh?" he asked, looking over his shoulder to maybe see if Seth was talking to the wall.

Jake couldn't hear Seth because he had flung his arms around Evelyn to keep her from falling over, "Girl, I wouldn't lie. You es muy hermoso" He complimented again, kissing her on the cheek.

Ashlee pulled up from Ashton, and looked up at Seth, "You took too long! On to da next one!" She stated and pulled Ashton back in.

James shoved Antonio off of him and he landed on the floor with a thump.

Antonio sat up and said, "HEY THEY STEALIN YO WOMEN! DO SOMETHIN!"

Evelyn watched Ashton's rather ruffled appearance as Ashlee yanked him back to her. Evelyn whistled loudly at her. "You go, girlfriend!!!"

She pulled free of Jake's arms and twisted around, swinging her legs over the railing onto the solid platform behind the TV. She walked around him down the steps, shrugging off her heavy leather jacket because the room was getting stuffy now, and tossed it on a couch as she passed, rolling her hair up lazily and tugging it around to lie over one shoulder as she headed for where she thought the kitchen was. This suite was confusing. She walked under the stairs and turned left, but only ended up in a bathroom, so she took the moment to splash water on the lower half of her face and run her wet hands through her hair.

Seth was scoffing. "Fine, bitch, I don' need yew!" he exclaimed. He looked around and slung an arm around Antonio. "I got me a henchman and he be prettiurr dan yo boy!!"

Ashton jerked away form Ashlee, glaring at Antonio. "Wait, WHAT? Fucker, you're supposed to be on MY side!"