Fort Tryon Renaissance Fair

Seth and Ashton shot Connor disturbed glances.

After a pause, Seth said, "More beer!" He handed his own over to Connor, feeling a little buzzed already.

"I don't get females," he continued. "Why wear shorts in this weather? Red and Lex changed too and she didn't! That girl's smokin' something weird. If James is planning to tap that, I hope he's careful."

They had reached the stage Alexis was being asked to join up in. Evelyn kept walking on with Nova. Seth paused and stuck two fingers in his mouth, whistling obnoxiously at Alexis. "Show off that rack, Lexi!" he hollered.

Half the crowd around the stage turned to gawp at them.

Evelyn looked up from the game she was watching, cringed and started walking agian. Nova yanked her over to a food vendor. "Cupcake?" the guy asked. They were decorated with cute little crowns. Evelyn, feeling hungry, bought two, one for herself, and one she put down for Nova. She paused there, taking a seat by a jester telling jokes to a crowd, and started her cupcake.

Jacob was laughing at Seth's comment, and he glanced back at Evelyn to see her eating a cupcake, and she had set one down on the ground for Nova, he did a double take when he realized that Evelyn was eating a chocolate cupcake, his eyes widened, "EVELYN!"

He shouted pushing through the crowd to get to where she was, "That cupcake better not be chocolate!" He yelled at her. Although he wasn't sure if Evelyn had heard him since she kind of walked ahead, but he could tell where she was.

"Oy Ev!" Jake hollered, because he wasn't sure if she could hear him or she was deliberately ignoring him.

Alexis' eyes widened as she nodded a little and hesitatingly went over to the other man who looked to be in his early 40's, with a beer belly, a sadly balding head and a whip to his side with the usual small brown vest, yellowed cloth shirt, brown pants and boots.

He had a whip clipped to his side and was holding his sword in one hand. He took Alexis' arm gently and pointed to the younger man who had winked at them earlier, getting back into their act.

He pointed his true metal sword at the boy, who looked to be early 20's, or so Alexis guessed since it was kinda hard to tell from the mask, but he had bright green eyes and an awesome smile so that was good enough for her.

He, however, looked like Robin Hood in his green tights, brown fitting leather vest, brown boots, and a puffy black sleeved shirt with leathered gloves. He gave an "whatever" look to the man as he put a hand on his hip and played with his sword.

"You," The older man began. "Mario Van Marco Dae Polo Kimberly Rodriguez George Lopez Tony Huston Bob Build the III!" He paused to take a deep breath, waving his sword. "Have been accused for public indecency to this poor lovely woman here."

Alexis then had a very bad feeling about what this Mario guy might have "done" to her, as Mario grinned widely and waved a dismissive hand. "I cannot help it that she has such big melons, no!" He laughed, and winked at Alexis.

She felt her face go very red and she looked away, looking for Evelyn as she inwardly groaned when she saw her walking away and didn't bother to glare at Seth, this Mario guy was already doing his worst, act or not.

"Aha! That already gives proof to your unjustified act!" The older man pointed out as he raised his eyebrow at Mario.

"Oh and please, Sir. Brownings, what "act" would this be?" Mario said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he drew faces in the sand with his sword.

"You, you waste of being, was undressing this poor woman with your very eyes!" Brownings replied with a huff. The crowd laughed some, as Alexis blushed more, wishing she hadn't agreed to this.

"...That I cannot deny too but she cannot deny to enjoy it either." Mario winked again before Brownings let go of Alexis, and engaged in quick sword fight with Mario.

For a second, Evelyn wasn't sure who was calling her. Then she recognized Jake's voice over the crowd but couldn't quite hear what he was hollering at her. Something about chocolate? Did he want a cupcake?

Stupid Spaniard probably had issues again.

She shot him a puzzled glance, biting into her cupcake carefully to avoid the frosting from getting on her nose.

Nova lapped happily at his, lying at her feet. He barked happily up at her and Evelyn flashed him a smile.

Seth was laughing so hard, he worried he'd cracked a rib. Alexis' face was redder than Evelyn's not-red hair. Seth's hand shook as he held up his iPhone, trying to record everything. He zoomed in on Alexis and her "big melons". "Yo, Lex, fuck the swordfight - get that whip and go Lara Croft on his ass!"

Jacob hadn't really been paying attention to the show, because he was too busy trying to save Nova from dying, although he was sure Seth would fill him on on whatever went down.

Finally after what seemed like five life times he had come close to Evelyn and he stopped in front of her, catching his breath, "Evelyn are you crazy!?!" He yelled frantically at her.

Alexis shot him a look and quickly went away from the stage, putting her hands on her face out of embarrassment and flinched when the guy shouted after her, "If you want a little more you know where I live, babeh!" Mario shouted before laughing and then oomfed when the guy shoved him onto the ground like planned.

Rosemary cringed and caught up to Alexis, while Connor stood beside Seth, wheezing from laughing so hard.

Evelyn jerked back in her seat, startled at Jake's decibel level, cupcake flying out of her hands - and of course, landing frosting-side down on her skirts. "Oh, great, thanks a lot, jackass!" she wailed, leaning down to pick it up. She groaned when she saw brown icing trailing on her hemline. Nova stopped eating his cupcake and bounded over to lick her skirt clean. Evelyn cringed at the dirt on his paws. "Nova!"

She bent and pulled him off by his collar. "What do you want, Jake?" she snapped irritably.

***

Seth was trying to control his laughter. Ashton elbowed him hard. "Dude, I think she's really upset," he said uneasily. Seth grinned broadly and sped up to heckle Alexis some more.

"Heyy, Lexi!" he called after her.

Ashton glanced around. "Where's Jake?" he asked, surprised. "Damn, we lost the Spaniard."

Antonio looked around and spotted a bronze head, and Jake towering over her from a good distance away and looked at this twin, "I think the Spaniard when to conquer Irish waters."

***

"Did you feed Nova chocolate?!" Jake panicked crouching down and examining the puppy, to make sure he wasn't getting sick.

Evelyn shot Jake a glower and got up, losing her good mood all over again. Between Connor and Jake, she was surprised she wasn't completely emo. "No, I didn't! You're not the only one who gives a shit about him!" she said, annoyed. She lifted her skirts in one hand and bent and grabbed Nova's leash in the other.

Ashton frowned at Jake. "Didn't he call her a bitch and all that on Wednesday?"

"Go away, Seth." Alexis called through her hands, going for the bench she spotted and quickly sat down, extremely embarrassed.

Rosemary sighed, deciding to leave her alone for a bit and went to some other booth.

Connor shook his head. "Who the hell cares,man."

Jake narrowed his eyes at Evelyn and grabbed her arm turning her to face him, "Hey! I just wanted to make sure he was okay! I wasn't sure if you knew that its not good for dogs to have chocolate it makes them real sick." He let her go and looked at Nova, he seemed okay.

The puppy barked at him, and stood up on his hind legs, his front paws resting on Jake's knees as he had crouched back down and pet him on the head, he got up and sighed, "Sorry alright? No need to get snappy. I know you give a shit."

***

"Dude I have no idea, if they are talking or they hate each other. Their whole relationship just confuses me." Antonio said throwing his hands up in surrender.

Seth shrugged at Connor. "I do. Where is he?"

Ashton pointed. Seth glanced over and groaned. "For fuck's sake! Jake can't wait two minutes to go hit on her?"

Ashton stared at him. "Hit on her? Why the hell would he do that?" Seth caught his slip-up.

"Oh, um...." He paused, casting around for something that wouldn't give his stupid friend away. "He's drunk and she's a hot girl?"

"He's not that drunk," Ashton retorted, walking ahead to another booth. Seth cringed and followed, casting a glance over at where Alexis sat. Rose had walked away, presumably because Alexis wasn't feeling up to being heckled.

Excellent.

Seth stepped away from the others, heading over to her. A cupcake vendor passed him and Seth paused and bought one on impulse, figuring it would make a good weapon.

He continued on and paused in front of Alexis. Crouching down, he had a sudden idea. He lifted the cupcake and waved it under her nose. "'Sup, Lexi?"

Ashton frowned after Seth. "Yeah, it's kind of obvious what's going on' he muttered to Antonio, moving over to where Rose stood. "Hey, did you see the dunking game?" he asked her, casting around for where it was.

***

Evelyn was slowly learning to adapt to Jake's sudden fits of anger. She'd still flinched when he'd caught her arm, more so at his tone. "Right, okay," she said shortly, deciding not to rile him. She let go of Nova's leash so it dropped to Jake's feet and turned, dumping her cupcake in a nearby trashcan, and walked on, wondering if she could find a bathroom to clean her skirt up in.

"What Seth..." Alexis muttered, not looking up at him as she tried to cool her cheeks. "Will you please just leave me alone."She said, now looking up.

Rose looked up from the necklaces she was looking at and nodded. "Uh huh- what's it's point suppose to be anyway?"

Antonio scratched his head, stupid hat was making his head itchy he tilted his head at his brother, "What's going on?" He never knew what was going on, even when it was happening right in front of him.

***

Jake sighed, and reached to pick up the leash, he looked down at Nova who widened his eyes up at Jacob wagging his tail, "Yeah yeah, you get to act all cute and make me think you're dying and I take the heat for it. Come on." Jake tugged his leash and walked back over, to the guys.

He stopped when he got near the twins, and spotted Seth with Alexis, apparently he had missed something, "Hey guys what did I miss?" He asked.

Ashton, who was now over by a booth with Rose, didn't hear Jake. "There's two, I think." He pointed to one where a guy sat on a sort of shelf above a tub. "Hey, I wanna try that!"

Ashton stepped around Rose and walked down to where the booth stood, paying for a turn. He grinned. Easier than b-ball at least. He took careful aim and threw - and the guy toppled in amidst cheers.

"Sweet!" Ashton whooped. He turned and yelled over to his brother. "Yo, get over here!"

Seth glanced up, momentarily distracted, and managed to smear icing on Alexis' nose by mistake. He glanced around at her. "Oh, shit! Sorry!"

Evelyn had found a trio of kids dressed in typical medieval garb. They were now persuading her to watch their dance routine. She grinned and sat down on a barrel-seat, hands clasped in her lap as they began a song-and-dance routine. Their overseer was standing there, watching. At the end of the dance, one of the kids, about six or so, came up to her and handed her a flower. "Thank you for watching," he squeaked. "You're purty!"

"Aww, merci," Evelyn chirped, feeling her mood brighten all over again. There was nothing more adorable than a six-year-old sweetheart with a flower. Evelyn took it, leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Don't ever change, little guy," she told him firmly.

Alexis wrinkled her nose and reached up, wiping it off before reaching over and wiped it onto Seth's cheek, smirking a little. "There, payback's served, Andreasis."

Connor raised his eyebrow and went over to where Ashton was cheerfully giving some guy a bath. "huh.."

[[FF to a half hour later]]


Jake had deduced that this fair was lame the minute he had stepped off the bus, he thought there had been moments of hope, but they failed to be impressive or hold his attention so he had spent most of time chugging on cheap beer, and getting buzzed although he had moved on from buzzed to tipsy.

He was looking for something to do, and since Antonio hadn't been drinking as quickly as him he handed Nova off to him to walk because Jake couldn't feel like he could watch him properly.

Jacob had kind of wandered off on his own away from Seth, and the rest of them. He was looking at all the nerds in their costumes, and stopped at a building where he saw a black horse and he staggered over to it, and snorted, "Hey there why the long face?" He laughed, petting the horse. Its skin was smooth, and it was a very nice horse, although the horse seemed irritated with the drunk Spaniard.

Jake rested his cheek on the horses mane and whispered, "You're a pretty horse, yes you are. If I had... a million dollars. I'd buy you... yes, I would. Cause then I could drive you to school." Jake hiccuped, patting the horse.

"There you are!" He heard a voice and opened his eyes to see a guy shorter than him approaching Jake, "Come on, we were looking for you everywhere, the match starts soon! What are you doing get on the horse!" The short man ordered him.

Jacob narrowed his eyes at the shrimp? Who did he think he was? Telling him what to do! "Hey I don't go on unless my demands are met... and especially don't listen to munchkins!"

The guy rolled his eyes at Jake, "Just get on the horse damn it!" The man ordered Jacob.

Jake scoffed, "Fine." He placed his leg in the stir up and swung himself on to the saddle and squinted his eyes looking down at the guy, "I'm only doing this because I love this horse and its mine." Jake said wrapping his arms around the neck of the horse. The small man grit his teeth leading Jacob into the stadium.

"Bastard hope he loses..." He mumbled under his breath.

***

Antonio was standing with Seth, he had no idea where Jacob had wandered off to, he saw him walking around but he didn't think he'd pull a disappearing act.

"Hey the jousting is starting soon lets go check it out!" He overheard a few people say and watched them go towards the stadium.

Antonio thought that sounded like a good idea since the rest of the fair was kind of lame, at least they could watch people fight, "Hey Seth! Jousting is starting soon, wanna gather the guys up and check it out?"

Seth glanced around from where he was eying an archery range. "Sure. Where the fuck are Ash and Con?"

Ashton appeared just then. His eyes were wide. "You won't believe who's on one of those horses!" he exclaimed.

Seth suddenly wondered where Jake was.

Oh fuck, no....

Seth shoved past Ashton and raced over to the jousting ring. He shoved through crowds and then caught sight of a familiar head of bronze hair near the front.

"Evelyn," he panted, reaching her and glancing at the two jousters. "Please tell me it isn't - "

Evelyn interrupted. "Sshh, I want to post this up on Facebook! I hope he gets skewered, the bastard."

She had her DSLR raised up, pointing at one of the jousters. They were both wearing helmets but by the way the tanned guy was sitting on his horse, he was clearly drunk.

"I saw him before he put that helmet on," Evelyn chirped up at Seth, sounding way too happy for somebody about to see a guy she liked get skewered on a lance. "It's definitely Sal."

"Don't sound so happy," Seth muttered, annoyed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," a guy in charge roared. "Let the joust BEGIN!" He waved a flag and the crowd roared. Seth leaned over and rested his arms on the railing, eyes on Jake. Ah, hell.

"Jake's jousting," Ashton explained to Connor and Antonio as they reached the ring.

Jake heard the crowd cheering, but he felt like he couldn't breathe because he had to wear a heavy metal helmet, he took the helmet off and tossed it to the ground, "Pfttt helmets are for little bitches like those guys!" Jake pointed to the guys in the suits of armors made out of tin cans with his lance he held it up and pointed it to the knight.

"I'm the Dark Knight bitch!" Jake proclaimed, he focused dark eyes on the knights light eyes from across the ring, and soon enough the "good guy" was charging towards Jake full speed ahead, letting out some sort of war cry.

Antonio's jaw dropped he wasn't sure if he could watch his friend die like this, first off Jake was drunk and he was more than likely to lose control because he didn't even know if Jake had ever even been on a horse before! Not to mention that these guys were trained to do this.

"Seth... he's gonna die. Jake is actually gonna die. I can't watch." Antonio said covering his eyes with his hands, looking through his fingers nervously.

"Yah! Go!" Jake kicked his heels into the side of the raven horse, and it neighed raising up on its hind legs and then charging towards the other knight Jake had his wooden lance pointed to his opponent and as the gaps closed, the lance collided into the man's chest knocking him clear off his brown horse onto the ground.

There was a resounding "Boooo!" from the audience because the good guy had lost. Seth gaped silently for a moment before whooping. "YO, KILL 'EM, JAKE!"

"Don't say that, he's drunk - he'll take it literally!" Evelyn snapped at him. Seth cringed.

"DON'T KILL ANYBODY!" he hollered at Jake. Evelyn smacked a hand over her face.

"SECOND ROUND!" the emcee dude bellowed as the other guy picked himself up.

"He's cute," Evelyn commended at Seth's side as she watched him. "You think he's okay?"

Seth glared at her. "Whose side are you on??!"

Evelyn snorted. "Not Jake's!"

The second round began. Ashton patted his brother's arm. "Jake won the first."

Antonio opened his eyes, he couldn't believe the bastard had won! "YEAH GO JAKE!" Antonio cheered him on.

Jake looked back at the audience who was clearly upset for his win, and with not dying. Hell if they were so bent on seeing him die he was going to show them all that he was going to win, "Haterss!" Jake said waving a dismissive hand at them.

A very large burly looking kind of man was on his horse, raising his hands in the air the crowd cheering for him to knock Jacob off his horse, (literally).

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Hey Hagrid! Bring it on bitch! I can knock you down with my hands behind ma back bitch!" Jake challenged him.

The guy growled at Jacob, and got on his horse kicking the horse which whined and charged down the field after The Spaniard.

Jacob sighed carelessly, charging down the field, he had his lance down by his side though as opposed to the guy who looked like he was aiming to stab Jake in the right eye ball.

As they closed the gap, the guy stabbed his lance forward and Jake had shifted his weight to the left, and was practically hanging off the horse , the crowd gasped, the knight looked baffled wondering what had happened, Jacob had yanked on the reigns stabling himself back a top the horse turning himself back around and jabbing the knight in the back and watching him fall off his horse, looking up at Jacob stunned.

"Rookie's luck!" Seth cheered his friend on.

"Oh my God," Evelyn mumbled. She had her hands clamped over her mouth in horror. "That was dangerously stupid! He's going to get hurt, Seth!"

"He's gonna be fine!" Seth exclaimed, waving her worry aside. "ROCK THAT HORSE, JAKEY!"

"This is insane," Ashton said, laughing.

"ROUND THREE!" the emcee hollered. Evelyn's eyes widened.

"Relax, he's crazy, not suicidal," Seth reassured her, eyes on the show. He snagged a nearby flag tied to a post and waved it. "Whoooo!"

Jacob gave a devilish grin, waving to the crowd, and finally his last opponent came out onto the field, although as opposed to the other knights donned in silver, this knight was in dark clothing, similar to what Jake had been wearing.

The crowd had fallen silent, apparently this man had been the dark knight and Jacob was stealing his thunder, "Vile young lad, you dare challenge the real dark knight?"

The crowd let out a collective "ooooh" anticipating Jacob's reaction.

Jake snorted rolling his eyes, "Come on Hamlet, its getting late I wanna get out of here before all the mutton is gone." The crowd erupted in laughter at Jacob's comment.

His opponent's eyes darkened, he wasted no time charging down the field after Jacob, and Jake followed suit charging down the field after him, he tried to devise a plan in his mind and since nothing really came to mind, as collision quickly approached, Jacob stood up on his horse jumping onto the dark knight's horse.

The older knight was startled by this sudden action dropping his lance, Jake standing on the horses stir up's stabilizing himself, the knight stood up pulling out his sword, and Jacob drew out his, "You dare challenge me young knight?!"

"Bring it on." Jacob accepted his challenge, he whistled and it was like his horse knew to return and Jacob jumped back on holding onto the reigns with one hand and fighting the man, the two of them sword fighting by horse, Jacob steered his horse and they jumped over the fence which marked off the arena for the jousting.

After sword fighting for what seemed forever, the older knight had taken his sword and swung it hard across Jake's head, knocking him off the side. Jacob fell off holding onto the horse as it dragged him around the stadium a bit, like a rag doll.



"Whoaa!" Jake yelled at the horse trying to calm him, he spotted the dark knight smirking at him, and getting ready to do his victory march around the stadium, Jacob had forcibly steered his horse towards the wall he placed his feet on the side running on it and when he gained enough momentum he flipped himself back on top of the horse, and charged after the night his sword held high, he brought it down on the bastard and knocked him off his horse.

Ashton had dragged Antonio to where Seth and Evelyn stood at the front. "That was - " Ashton began, as the emcee marched over to Jake and lifted his arm in the air.

"FUCKING AWESOME!!" Seth hollered. "I wanna joust! This place is so lame!"

The emcee dude frowned at Jake. "Hey, where's Clark? Who the hell are you?" he demanded. "Get outta here, kid!"

"Over here, Jake!" Seth called over to him, gesturing him over. Seth glanced at the abnormally silent Evelyn. "I shoulda bet with you!"

Evelyn sighed, finally lowering her white-knuckled hands which she'd clenched in worry. "Shut up, Seth." She glanced around at Antonio. "Hey, didn't you have Nova? Where is he?" she asked, more to avoid Seth's smug look.

Ashton frowned. "Fuck, he was just here!"

Antonio was too busy cheering on his friends awesome skills to realize that Nova had escaped, "Ah crap!"

Jacob chuckled at the emcee, "Please you need to hire me instead of Chuck, but this was a one time thing. See ya!" He waved, clicking his tongue he galloped over to where Seth was and hopped off the horse and into the stands landing on his feet.

The audience cheered and Jacob bowed a few times, "Thank you, thank you!"