FAO Schwarz

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[[from SoM]]

Evelyn had let Nova out as they walked to the costume store. Right now, they had to sneak into the bathrooms at FAO and change into the costumes they carried.

Evelyn was trying to imagine Seth in his monster costume. She didn't even knwo what it looked like; he'd chosen it and Alexis had voted yes.

Nova raced ahead as Evelyn clipped on his leash. She jerked forward after him. "Slow down, buddy."

Seth, meanwhile, shot Alexis a mischievous grin.; Connor was going to kill them both later, but it would be so worth it to see his and Evelyn's expressions when they realized they'd changed Connor's costume last minute. That was why Seth had paid for the rental fees and asked that they just pay him back later.

Evelyn pushed open the doors of the toy store and walked Nova in, eyes widening as she took in the vast array of toys around her. Seth appeared indifferent - he'd probably grown up here, she realized.

She and Alexis split up for the ladies' room and Evelyn pulled out the mid-thigh dress Daphne had worn for years. She handed Alexis Velma's sweater and the miniskirt that was her replacement. "Sexy Velma will scar the kids," she said devilishly, heading into a stall adn dressing quickly. She let her hair down and put on the headband that came with Daphne and then the tights and horrible, old-fashioned shoes.

"Gay," she remarked, tugging at the short, slinky dress. "It's like glued to me. We're such sluts, I swear. We can't make a kid show stay decent." She poofed out her hair and then picked up her bag and stuffed her old clothes in, ruffling Nova's head where he waited with a ribbon in his mouth.

***

Seth was smirking as he emerged in his blown-up, green-grey-scaled costume. It was a cross between a radioactive dragon and Barney. He looked insane, he thought gleefully.

"Time to scare them kiddies," he chortled, and then waited for Connor to emerge from his stall with his new costume.

Connor stormed out of the stall, glaring at Seth. "I didn't pick Fred, you asshole! I said Shaggy!" He came across whiny but he didn't chair. He had a fuckin' blond wig on for Moses's sake.

*****

Alexis put on a pair of fake-read glasses and adjusted the skirt and top. She reached down, messing with the Mary-Janes she had found at one of the stores they stopped at and then adjusted the Velma wig. She looked like a decent sexy-Velma at least.

"I have to say- Nova is the most adorable Scooby Doo, ever."She said as she stuffed her other clothes in her bag.

Seth sniggered and then doubled over and laughe,d looking ridiculous in his huge bobble-headed costume. "I think this suits you better. You're too pretty to be as manly as Shags." He walked past Connor, his own clothes in hand, and met up with the girls in the hallway outside. "Helloooo, sexy ladies." He gave them both appreciative once overs.

Evelyn bent and took the "asscot" Nova was holding in his mouth as the puppy waited by her feet, tail wagging excitedly. She tied it about her neck and then her green eyes darkened in disbelief. Seth glanced over his shoulder as Connor appeared behind him in full Fred get-up.

Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "What. The. Hell. You disgrace Fred."

"I didn't ask for it, slutty Daph." Connor hissed quietly due to a father and his young child passing by. He growled slowly, shooting his cousin a look who just grinned back at him. "Jinkies. Looks like an asshole."

Evelyn's cheeks turned bright red and for a second, Seth seriously worried that about five little kids who had wandered down this way to use the bathroom would see the haring sight of the "docile" Daphne sucker-punching "serene" Fred in the nuts.

He cringed. And decided to elevate teh tension. "Hey, we've been waiting a decade for Fred and Daph to grow the fuck up, right, Lex?" he winked at her and lumbered down the hall in his dino-gon glory, making kids scatter as he entered the store.

Evelyn gaped after him, feeling her insides seethe. What the hell was he on about? "Did you know about this?" she snapped at Alexis.

Alexis grinned at Evelyn. "Sorry hun- I forgot about the interest between Fred and Daphne at the time. But you gotta admit, he looks ridiculous."She said.

Connor looked around, blinking when he already heard whispers from little kids and 'mommy! MOMMY! Look! It's Fred! And Daphne and Velma! And the monster!!'

Evelyn felt her fists clench. This day suddenly went downhill. "You just forgot?" She put on an even face when people began noticing them.

Seth ahead suddenly turned around, whipping a kid in the face with his tail and making him fly into a giant teddy bear seat. "Whoops," he said, in a muffled voice. "I'm the villain, yo! Catch me if you can!"

He turned around, whipped Connor in the gut with his tail and then darted into an aisle.

Evelyn's jaw dropped and then she giggled. Her inner child was pleased. "I like that idea." Nova barked, baring hs steeth after Seth. "Yeah, he smells funny, little guy. I know."

Connor oomf'd and let out a breath, not able to help but grin. He went over and helped the kid, ignoring the awe struck look on the childs face that "Freddy" had just helped him up and went back over to the "Gang".

"So. Lets split up, gang."

Alexis' lips twitched and she reached up, adjusting the glasses.

It took Evelyn a moment to recall the show and exactly what Connor/Fred's line meant.

"No!" she snapped, very un-Daphne-like. She almost stomped her foot and then remembered Daphne was chill. So she placed a hand on her hip, leaning slightly on her left leg, right leg extended just a bit, in that classic Daphne pose. "We can work this out together."

"C'mon Daph. We can find more clues quicker if we split up. Me and you, and then Velma and Scrappy Doo." Connor said, shooting her a very Fred like smile as he adjusted his own asscot.

Seth scampered down the Barbie aisle and then paused, impish mind working quickly. He leaned overand grabbed Malibu Barbie's box, hiding it with his body from cameras and taking her out of it. He quickly undid her holding clasps and then spread-eagled her arms and legs. Then he tucked her into a pouch-thingy in the costume and wanedered on, grabbing a Ken along the way. He found a marker on a notepad left by a salesperson and grinned. It was red.

He pulled out Barbie and Ken and splashed "blood" on their bodies, before dumping them carelessly into a few aisle behind him. He ditched Barbie's shoes in the teddy bear aisle. Ken's pleather jacket went in the Doll's House aisle.

Seth went on his way, whistling.

***

Evelyn wondered what would happen if Fred mysteriously died. Say by overdosage of Legos? There was an open box of play samples behind him. She glowered but said, "Sure." She surprised herself, admittedly. She should have said no.

Alexis took the leash from Evelyn gently. "C'mon Scrappy."She said, reaching down and ruffling Nova's ears.

Connor grinned and turned swiftly, before heading off for an aisle with Evelyn.

Evelyn wondered why every happy moment had to be ruined by some fiend sent from beyond. She trailed after Connor, deciding to do what Daphne usually did - say nothing.

She kicked a stray lego out of her way, huffing. Then eyed the back of Connor's fake blond hair musingly. Sarah Michelle Gellar had made a kick-ass Daphne. A Daphne who didn't take shit.

***

Seth had hidden himself in the toy guns/ammo section. He grabbed a gun with plastic pellets and aimed it at a tall blond kid who looked about eleven.

"Ow!"

Seth ducked behind the shelf, snickering. "Dino pwns!"

Alexis trailed down some aisles with Nova, looking for any "clues." Some little girl however ran up to her, making her stop in her steps and shoved a pad of paper and a pen into her face. ... Seriously?

***

Connor shoved his hands in his pockets, opting to keep shut also as he walked along the store before pausing in his steps when he saw the dolls.

"Oh my God." Evelyn walked aorund Connor and picked up one of the dolls, disbeliving. She rubbed the red marks and the smell of fresh ink lingered. "Who the hell would...."

Her eyes landed on a tiny note attached to one of the dolls. "SA," she read. "You're kidding."

She got up, wondering if she should laugh or be horrified. Those poor little kids...

"Mommy, bloooood!" a small girl cried ahead.

Not laughing then.

Alexis looked up, hearing some boy grumble about being shot in the head by some "stupid big headed dragon" as he stomped by while she signed the girl's notepad. She gave the girl a hug, let her pet Nova briefly and then rounded the corner quickly but only saw Barbie dolls in the wrong aisle, which really made no sense to her. She reached down and picked them up, jiggling them in her hand for a moment. "Mmm.. jinkies.."She grinned amusedly to herself.

Connor blinked, staring at the dolls. "Oh for god.."He trailed off and kicked the other dolls away quickly.

Seth caught a flash of dark hair in a bob. He smirked, raising his gun as Velma wandered into the gun aisle.

He raised tne gun and fired two quick shots at her shoulder, knowing it wouldn't hurt as much as aggravate the shit out of her. Then he ducked as well as his clumsy body would allow, and rounded the next run into another aisle, creeping along on his knees.

"What are you doing?" a boy about ten, standing over him, asked him. Seth looked up from his belly-crawling.

"Playing war, kiddie," he replied in a gruff voice.

"You're a dino," the kid said deadpan. "You're not supposed to crawl on your stomach. You look like you're dying."

Seth blinked, annoyed. "Yeah?"

The kid sneered. "Yeah, fatty."

Seth raised the gun, looked around for the kid's parents or an attendant, and then fired at the kid's foot from less than a foot away.

"Owwwww!" the boy yelped, and Seth got up, running.

***

Evelyn grimaced. "We should find him before he traumatizes too many kids." She stepped into the next aisle and instantly honed in on the tiny jacket lying on the ground. "He's gone this way then. Hurry up, would you?" She stalked on ahead.

"Yes, Daphne." Connor muttered as he followed quickly, clasping his hands together.

Alexis gritted her teeth and reached down, scooping up Nova into her arms and then walked quickly towards the way she had heard the boy yelp.

Seth was now being chased by a brat in a Spongebob shirt. Seth ducked into the Legos aisle again and rounded behind what he realized was Fred and Daphne. Only, Daphne was on a power-trip, storming about with Fred behind her.

Seth snorted. He raised his gun and shot Connor in the head.

Crack, crack, the gun whistled.

"SCOOOORE!" Seth hollered, letting out a whoop and a victory jig. The huge dinosaur gave a leap and a baby in a pram behind him burst into tears.

"Shit," he muttered.

***

Evelyn glanced around as a loud Crack sounded behind her. She jolted and spun to face Connor, grabbing the nearest thing - a kid-sized racket. She swung it in reflex and hit Connor in the gut before he did whatever he planned. "Hands off!"

Connor yelped and stumbled onto the ground, two of the gun's sticky bullets sticking to the side of his head as he glared up at "Daphne." He clenched his fists, and his jaw. "...Run, Red."He hissed.

Evelyn stared down at him, then at the two pellets sticking to his head.

She made the connection and her eyes widened as horror lanced into her stomach. Oh sweet Mary, I'm gonna die.

She ran, bolting down the aisle and skidding around the corner.

"Oww!" There was a huge green wall ahead. Evelyn fell backwards and rubbed her head. "Seth!"

The dino wagged his snout. "Wazzup?" he asked. A baby cried in the background.

Evelyn registered she was on death row, caught sight of his gun and jumped up, skidding in her heels. "Did you shoot Connard?" she asked.

Seth glanced behind her. "I suggest we run. I saw you nail him."

For once, she didn't argue, simply following him into the next aisle full of baby toys. Seth attempted to squeeze past a shopping cart full of unpacked toys.

Evelyn giggled and kicked him in the butt to help. He flew forwards." Ouch."

She ducked down behind a shelf of unpacked mobiles...or something.

Seth had to run on and find a teddy bear large enough to conceal his bulk. He spotted Alexis again and fired off one more shot before squatting down.

Alexis huffed angrily and threw the bullet to the ground before grabbing two of the Nerf Handguns that were out for sample and loaded them, slipping the loop of Nova's leash around her wrist.

Connor took off, looking for either that damned Dino or Daphne from hell.

Seth crawled along behind the giant teddies. He spotted blond hair and squinted.

Connor. Fred. Connard. Whoever-the-fuck he was.

Seth aimed at him - and stumbled forward when that ten year old brat kicked him from behind.

"Fuck!" Seth swore out loud. And earned about ten glares from parents. Seth landed on his elbows and knees, tipping over the huge bear, at Connor's feet. He attempted to sit up. And realized his tail was overweighing him.

"Shit," he censored himself, trying to roll sideways to his feet. He waved his arms and legs in frustration. "God dammit!"

Evelyn, who had watched this from behind a shelf, clamped a hand over her mouth and tried to keep tears of laughter ruining her vision. She might need to run.

I should help Seth, she realized. He'd done her a favor. She looked around and grabbed up a gun lying nearby. Thank God for samplers. She aimed but didn't fire yet.

Connor stepped over the large teddy bear and went straight for Seth, fists clenched. "I found the monster, DAPHNE."He said loudly through his teeth.

Alexis glanced around the corner, watching. If Seth wasn't killed now for some reason, he would be by her own damned hands but he looked like a damned turtle on it's back. She started giggling, trying to keep quiet.

Seth waved up at Connor. "Help!" he croacked. He kicked out and then grabbed COnnor's leg - pulling him down.

"Oomph!" Connor's knees landed on Seth's back.

Evelyn got up from her position, gun at the ready. She was laughing so hard her hands were shaking. She steadied the gun and walked over to the boys, aiming it at Connor.

"Back off, connard," she announced. "Barney gets free fun."

"Hey!" Seth protested. "I'm a dragon-dino, thank you very much, Daph!"